New Garage

I really must start my next post with some letter other than an 'N' - it's reaching epidemic proportions. Anyway...

Something like 6 months ago I requested an application form from the District Council in Epping to put myself on the waiting list for a local Council garage. I received the form, filled in most of it, but got to a part where it asked me to name my preferred site. Unsure as to what to put down, I called the council.

I got through to a perfectly helpful (I'm guessing middle-aged) lady to whom I explained I was interested in the garages behind the church, but anything in Epping would be fine. She cheerfully clucked at me that the waiting list for those garages was "years long". (No particularly surprise to me, given the scarcity of garages in Southwell, Notts. where my parents and the Lotus live.) But nevertheless, she assured me if I wrote "behind the church" on my application, everything would be fine and dandy. So I did.

So 6 months on, imagine my surprise at finding this news item on the Council website:

Renting a garage in Epping Forest district

Do you want somewhere to park your car?

Well, yes actually! I thought I was on your list!

Council garages are available now at discounted rents in Buckhurst Hill, Epping, Loughton, Shelley (Ongar) and Waltham Abbey.

We own around 3,000 garages throughout the Epping Forest district. The normal rent is £12.50 per fortnight for council tenants, and £14.68 for other residents. Some garage blocks are in high demand and have waiting lists, others are less popular. These low demand garages are available now at a discount of 50% off the normal rent for the first year.

Is that so? Then why on God's green Earth has no one called me and asked me if I want one of them, since I'm on "the list"?? I was a little irritated by this, and sent a terse (admittedly) but fair email to the Housing Services division of the Council to that effect. Their reply?

Dear Mr Harvey,

When you completed your application form you stated you would like to be considered for a garage behind the Church, these garages are not owned by the Council so I put you on the waiting list to our nearest site, Chapel Road. As you are now willing to accept a garage not so close to your address, I would be able to offer you a garage on our Springfield 'C' site as we have a few vacancies there at the moment.

Woah woah woah...! So let me get this straight. Firstly, the garages I wanted to rent (the ones I dicussed on the telephone) don't even belong to the council? Instead they signed me up to a different list for some garages I didn't even know existed? And no one thought to mention that to me?? Secondly, now I stand accused of changing my mind, according to the Council representative concerned... what the...?

Well that really is rather irritating. The fact is I *never* said I was unwilling to accept any garage except for the ones across the street. In fact, I specifically remember stating exactly the opposite on the telephone! And since the form asked me to state a preference, I had no idea that in doing so I was completely excluding myself from being offered any other garages in Epping.

Naturally, I replied - politely - explaining how the misunderstanding came about and suggesting how they might rectify this so it doesn't happen in the future:

For the record (and by way of feedback - I appreciate there was clearly a misunderstanding here) from my perspective I was never aware I was only on the list for one garage site - when I spoke to council officials previously on the telephone (and in all dealings on this matter) I have always stated behind the church was ideal location, but not essential and was given the impression that was understood and I would be considered for any garages in Epping. Evidentally this was not the case, and had I not seen the news item on your website I would've been on the list for the Chapel Road site until doomsday while other Epping garages lay empty.

The confusion was exacerbated by the wording of the council form I filled out when applying, which gave me the impression I was stating a preference for a garage behind the church - not accidentally excluding myself from being offered any other options in the town. Might I suggest adding an extra option on the form - a checkbox allowing people to express an interest in other sites if offered? This would avoid such confusion in the future.

Thanks again for getting back to me so swiftly, and I look forward to taking on a garage.

The response to my suggestion? Deafening silence. Now, call me old fashioned, but I would expect at least a "thank you for your feedback and we'll bear it in mind" - even if it's an insincere load of old cobblers, it is still better than nothing. I didn't even get an acknowledgement. Rubbish! If a private company carried on like that they wouldn't have very happy customers.

Never mind. The good news is it looks like we have a garage again for the Fiat. The bad news is my lack of faith in civil servants is once again proven completely justified. *sigh*

New Plates

The new number plates were fitted to the Fiat this morning and they look good. The front one takes a bit of getting used to as it is much larger than the Milanese plate that was on the car.

For reasons known only to himself, the first owner drilled holes through the front panel to fit the original plates. We're now stuck with that decision, unless we fill and respray the front panel or replace it entirely - neither of which are a particularly good idea at this moment in time.

Normally people hang British plates beneath the front bumper on UK registered Fiat 500s, so it doesn't look like the car is sporting a moustache. This is infinitely preferable in my opinion, but sadly not an option right now. One thing I can do is procure a motocycle plate for the front at some point. I don't think it's technically "legal" , but no one cares anyway and it will look a lot less imposing on such a tiny car.

We also had a bit of a dilemma as to how we might put holes through our new ironmongery - we expected them to come pre-drilled (since we left the originals with the shopkeeper) but to our dismay they weren't and the chap we bought them from wasn't sure where we could get them drilled.

I wasn't comfortable drilling the holes myself with my cheap Homebase power drill and free metal bit (of dubious quality). So I ended up taking a lump hammer and a 6" nail to the metalwork which is, as I suspected, actually a very effective and controlled way to put holes in thin sheet metal, even if it sounds a little hairy! Infinitely preferable to a drill slipping, or some similarly ugly mishap.

So there you go - fully street legal in British trim. Very nice. And for good measure we went for a nice long drive and got an "English breakfast" for lunch. Yum!

News Update

Not much has happened in the world of classic motoring over the last month. The weather has been dreadful, so the Lotus has been in the workshop getting a new starter motor, an MOT and a tune up in readiness for the summer.

The Fiat has been holed up in the garage with no number plates on it while we wait for the black and silver British plates to arrive. We're taking advantage of our remaining time with a garage to make sure everything is street legal. Still looking for another garage, but it's looking bleak I'm afraid. I may be reduced to a card in the Post Office. You never know!

I'm looking forward to driving the Lotus for the first time in ages next weekend (25th/26th March) and can't wait to see if all the mechanical tinkerings have made much difference.

And we pick up the new plates for the Fiat tomorrow morning, so I will fit them and take it out for a spin with British plates and tax disk for the first time! Hurrah!

More next week.

Homeless

Oh great calamity! Oh woe is me! For Epping Town Council have decided not to renew their lease with the District Council on the plot of land behind the church in Epping.

So?

That very plot of land is where Epping Town Council has three rows of garages, one of which houses our Fiat, all of which will be demolished on, or shortly after, 1st April 2006. I'm sure the District Council will then sell the land to developers who will shoe-horn twenty three "luxury" homes on to the plot and sell them for £749,999 each.

All of which I couldn't care less about. I will be street parking our beloved Fiat 500, something about which I am not best pleased. And I suppose we will all be placed on the same council list for the remaining Epping garages, which is much longer than any normal man's arm and has just been about doubled in length by recent events. In other words, there is little chance of the council rehoming the tenants of the garages they are demolishing any time in the next five years!

I am now trying to procure a garage privately, but alas private garages to rent seem to be about as rare as Fiat 500 roof racks.

Ho hum.

A Rose By Any Other Name

Would it really smell as sweet? What am I babbling about? Bear with me ...

My father is a Daily Telegraph reader. Terrible habit, I know, but what can you do ... ? One thing it does seem to do very well though is the motoring section. Which seems to be about the only bit he reads. He has an Honest John quote for every occasion!

So when I visited for the weekend before Christmas he had saved an article for me. And courtesy of all these newspapers publishing online these days, I can share it with you - "Why Buy An MX-5?"

Now let's get one thing straight. The MX-5 is actually a corking little motor. It's modelled on the original Lotus Elan of the 1960s - that's why it's so popular. It represents classic motoring with modern reliability, and it's the car which delivers the most bang for your budget ... until recently, that is.

Enter Spyder Cars. They will take an Elan +2 (like mine, though I wouldn't cut up such a nice example) and throw away everything but the bodyshell and the interior. Those bits they will stick on top of their own custom chassis, complete with 2.0 litre Ford Zetec engine for about the same money as a new MX-5.

Wha .... ?? So, you have a brand new car and a classic Lotus Elan all at the same time. Wonderful! Alternative to running a classic +2S? I don't believe so. The Spyder Cars Lotus conversion I would buy. As a day car. But from my perspective, there is no way on Earth you can replace a genuine, well kept classic with a modern conversion. The rose would smell more like an orchid. Still very nice, don't get me wrong, but just not the same.

If the company I work for offer me a £20,000 company car allowance tomorrow though, I know exactly where I'm going ...

Photograph courtesy of Practical Classics.

Taxed And Plated

I just thought I'd note the DVLA sent through the UK license plate letter (indeed, we've been assigned an old 1971 'J' plate) and the free, "Historic", tax disc for the Fiat. The steps I detailed previously in "Done And Dusted" are indeed correct at this present time and we had everything processed without issue.

At the moment the Fiat is still carrying Italian plates and tax information, as I don't see the point of displaying a UK tax disc with Italian plates. It's more likely to attract the attention of some traffic warden like that than it is with all Italian markings - and at the end of the day, if I get a producing order everything is UK-legal. So, next weekend off to a number plate manufacturer to get our black and white (well, silver really) plates made up!

My only problem now is going to be finding someone who is prepared to do me a motorcycle plate for the front. The one on it at the moment is a slightly smaller size than is strictly legal. Hmmmm ...

They Must Be Mad

What happens when you take a standard Fiat 500, rip out everything, put the stripped bodyshell (with newly flared wheel arches, of course) back on a custom racing chassis and fit a super-light, 150bhp, Ducati 999R motorcycle engine in the boot? You have the F500, perhaps the most ridiculous supercar known to man.

It will do 0-60mph (0-100kph) in under 4 seconds. It is limited to 120mph (195kph). It has the most ludicrous power to weight ratio in the known universe and better performance than a Ferrari Enzo. Indeed its makers, racing engineers Hartham, refer to it as "truly a miniature Ferrari in every sense".

This sort of insanity and irresponsible engineering is very likely to get people killed. But they will die with the smile to end all smiles on their face if they do it at 120mph in an F500. Fantastic. If I had the spare cash, I'd order one today.

And you've got to love the badging.

Done And Dusted

I've finally done it! I've completed all the DVLA paperwork, the Customs paperwork and the insurance documentation and the Fiat is on its way to receiving UK plates.

This process is in fact simpler than you might imagine for a classic car. It does still require some research however. Fortunately for you, if you live in the UK and you are bringing a classic car in from within the EU, I've done the research for you.

Purchasing Your Car

All the usual business applies here when selecting your vehicle. Once you have decided this is the car for you and set about purchasing it, make sure you end up with the legal equivalent of the V5 log book for the country you're in. This is both proof of ownership and proof of age, which is very important later on.

In many EU countries the legal transfer of ownership must be carried out by a special type of solicitor (not like the UK, where a green slip and a handshake is enough!) Don't forget to check what the local laws are regarding transfer of property, and if you find you do have to hire such a parasite (I mean, individual), factor this in when setting your budget. It will cost a few hundred pounds.

Getting Your Car Home

So, vehicle paid for (corresponding backs scratched) and legal paperwork in hand, it's time to head for England! Your best bet is usually by ferry, so most people head for the nearest UK-serving ferry port. Note, if you have bought a particularly slow vehicle (such as a Fiat 500) I strongly recommend staying off European motorways, unless of course you are seeking the ultimate cure for constipation.

Fresh off the boat in your chosen UK ferry port, proudly sporting your newly purchased classic car, you can pretty much expect to drive through Customs and off home without any issues - they're not in the business of bothering people driving old cars with foreign plates. Unless afforementioned cars are stuffed with canabis.

Getting An MOT

That's the next job. An MOT should be sought immediately and can be done on the chassis number. Also while odometers reading in kilometres are technically illegal in the UK, this is not part of the MOT test, so the car will pass without modification. Do, however, strategically position little triangular bits of black tape on the headlamp glass to correct the angle of the beam for British roads, or it will fail.

Headlamps will be set up for the "wrong" side of the road. Of course, the reality is most classic car headlamps in original condition are about a dazzling as bicycle lights so, post-MOT, ghastly tape can be removed without unduly upsetting your fellow motorists. However it is preferable to set the lamps up correctly for driving on the left.

Getting Insured

Once again, UK insurance can be obtained using the chassis number. Here it is a case of "buyer beware". BIBA themselves (shame on them!) put me through to a bunch of crooks who were going to charge me £200 for one month of insurance by chassis number, on the basis it was "specialist" insurance. This is nonsense. I contacted my usual classic insurer of choice, Footman James, who immediately covered the car on its chassis number for the same fee as I would've been charged to cover it with a UK plate.

Paying Your Taxes

Or indeed, not. There is nothing to pay on a second-hand classic car, as VAT is considered to have been paid in the EU member state when the vehicle was new. And there's no import duty because you're within the EU. All you need to do is obtain and fill in all the details you can on a VAT-414 form from Her Majesty's Revenues & Customs. This is available online. It will ask you for a UK license plate, but leave this blank and send the VAT-414 with your DVLA application (covered next) and the DVLA will fill it in and forward it to Customs.

Getting UK Plates

The final step! Now you have all the information to hand the DVLA will require before they will issue a UK license plate. You need to fill in the DVLA V55/5 form (this is only available by calling or writing to the DVLA - you cannot get it through the Post Office or download it). You should receive an information booklet with this form, telling you how to fill it in, but even with that much of the information requested is not relevant to a classic car. I called the DVLA to ask their advice and they took me through it step by step. I advise you to do the same if you're not sure.

Don't forget, if the vehicle was first registered prior to November 1973 in another country you should not be due to pay any road tax. In this case the "license fee" (as I think they call it) should be £0.00.

Once this form is completed, you will need to include a cheque for the admin fee (currently £38), proof of identity (e.g. passport), proof of address (e.g. bank statement), original vehicle documentation from the EU country in which the car was purchased, car MOT, valid UK insurance certificate and your completed Customs VAT-414 form. Pop this lot in the post to your local DVLA office (in my case Chelmsford, but the DVLA can advise you) and wait.

Note this is where the proof of age mentioned at the start is very important and must be included with the V55/5. If the DVLA cannot ascertain the age of the vehicle they'll issue a Q plate, and no one wants a Q plate on a classic 1960s automobile!

De-registering The Vehicle

When I said you were done, I lied. You're finished with the paperwork for the UK, however, you must also inform the authorities in the relevant member state the vehicle no longer resides there (the equivalent to a SORN declaration in the UK). This obviously varies from country to country and you'll have to find out about this yourselves, but I imagine the consulate for whichever country is concerned will be more than happy to assist you.


And that's your lot. In due course you should receive a V5 logbook for your car, with which you can go and commission your UK license plates. We're still looking forward to this happy day, as we only sent the forms off a week ago, but we qualify for black and white plates (the same rules apply as for road tax) which will look really nice on our cream Fiat 500. Can't wait!

Road Tax

Today is a good day to rant. It's Monday morning, I have a hospital visit this afternoon (just routine, folks) and I want to be at home in bed!

So, road tax. This isn't a new issue any more, but I got to thinking about it yesterday, and it really, really annoys me. Ever since the UK government began taxing motorists for the use of the nation's tarmac (as if they don't take enough tax from the cost of petrol), they have incremented the exemption year for tax so that cars over 30 years of age are tax exempt.

Why? Because these vehicles are clearly labours of love. They wouldn't be on the road at all if people weren't looking after them, they do very few miles and it's like a reward scheme for people keeping little bits of motoring heritage alive.

These museum pieces would all be on the scrap heap if it wasn't for the dedication of their owners and no one would ever see Lotus Elans, MGB GTs, Jaguar S-types, etc. - even more lowly specimens such as Mk 1 Ford Escorts or indeed, our own little Fiat 500, would be forgotten and resigned to black and white photo albums by now.

So it's a nice gesture to give people who poor their hearts, souls and wallets in to the maintenance of these days gone by of motoring a bit of a break. Great idea, no? Well the buggers stopped all that in 2004.

My 1974 Lotus Elan, a beautiful car, every bit a classic and in spite of being over 30 years old now, will never be tax exempt if the current government has anything to do with it. My father's early Jaguar XJ-S convertible, in spite of still having about 15 years to go, will thoroughly deserve classic status when it gets there. There weren't very many made. However under present legislation he can forget about it.

The government is just not interested any more. Worse than that, they seem to be discouraging any future classic car ownership. I'm sure they have got more important things to worry about, but why oh why did they change the rules when everything was going along just swimmingly?

There's also a more serious implication for post-'74 classics. It has to affect the value of vehicles built after the tax "watershed" - especially vehicles which span both sides of the cut off date. The ones registered prior to '74 must be more sought after than post-'74 vehicles, precisely because they are tax exempt.

The most gauling thing for me is my car was actually built in 1973 and was registered on 1st January 1974 as the original owner was one of these people who wanted to try and get one of the very first plates of the year. D'oh!! At least the Fiat is 1971.

Anti-Corrosion

Yesterday we braved the cold and the salt and headed up to Saffron Walden for the day, towards the north of our county. (A lovely town it is too. We went on a Sunday and nothing was open, but we will go back another weekend for a Saturday and actually see the place properly.)

It's always a bit of a toss up between leaving the car in the garage to get stale and damp, or braving the elements and running it out for a while, even if the conditions aren't the best they could be. This was one of those occasions. The sun was shining, the ground was dry(ish) and the car could do with a run, so out it came.

(An amusing aside: one nice chap, in his mid '50s I'd say, barely escaped with his life after an off the cuff comment about the car on the Saffron Walden high street. My girlfriend is, well, "protective" of the Fiat. Fortunately she didn't hear him say to me "oh, we used to have one of those - an original of course - many years ago!" I waited until we were far enough out of town to render turning back to find him a task not worth undertaking, before telling her of the conversation. At this point she started spitting something about ignorant Englanders, our car coming from Italy thus being ten times more original than any Fiat 500 sold in Britain, 1971 it was made, &c. Next time I have a conversation like this, I won't mention it.)

Anyway, all in all it was an enjoyable afternoon, but I'm less than comfortable with the fact the car is now sitting back in the garage with a light spraying of salt water under the sills, in the wheel arches and worked in to just about every other nook and cranny salt water can get at.

I was told by one of the mechanics at Paul Matty Sportscars, from where I purchased the Lotus, the best tactic for a classic car to be used all winter is putting it on a ramp somewhere and giving the entire underside a fine spraying with duck oil. I'm not sure how effective this is, but he swore by it, and in my experience these fellows do tend to know what they're talking about. This may well be an option.

I shall ring some local classic car specialists and see if they've heard of the practice. What a shame our rather handy next door neighbour, a lovely man by the name of Roger who services a very wealthy man's 14-car Porsche fleet for a living, has moved on. He would be able to tell me. I'll have to pop in to "The Welly" in Epping and see if he's about ...


Finally, confession time. I still haven't done the forms. But I must must MUST do them very soon. Unfortunately this sort of paperwork is always bottom of the list of priorities. A bit like cleaning the oven, but worse. I know it's worse, because we actually cleaned the oven in preference to facing the DVLA forms this weekend!